It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
