make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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