I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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