is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
