I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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