his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
