well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
