I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
