at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
