3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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