State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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