Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
