I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
