PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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