Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
