remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
