I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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