if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
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I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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