super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
