Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
