i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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