TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize