Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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