you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
