I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
