I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
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Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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