Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
