So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
a search helicopter?!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
