Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
