i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
