he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
