I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
bring money and cleavage
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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