spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
