I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
