don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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