rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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