ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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