using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
