we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
