Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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