Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
