thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize