Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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