id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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