You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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