If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
