i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
