You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
should my penis look like a turkey
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
