He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
