kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
