who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
