u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
