You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
