You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize