He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
that may or may not have been my penis.
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