Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
