Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
